Green's Hill-Amy Lane's Home - News

Monday, April 2, 2018

April Fool's Easter

Hey all-- Happy April Fool's Easter!  Most of you saw DSP's April Fool's joke (hint--I did NOT write a book titled Swanky Spanky!) and while some of you were missing the BDSM, most of you caught on that maybe--just maybe--this wasn't Amy's thing, and enjoyed the moment.

I'm glad.  I'm not a great practical joker because I'm like my sons: So, Mom-- did you go to the kitchen? Did you turn on the water? Can you turn on the water now? Do you notice anything when you turn on the water?  Like what?

In short, I give away the joke because I want to make sure people get it, and I also want to make sure they don't get their feelings hurt. I suck at pranks. The only way I succeeded at this one was that I was taking a social media break while someone else did the heavy lifting. I do hope you all got a laugh.

But speaking of pranks?  That water thing really did happen today-- but ZoomBoy FORGOT about the rigged water hose when his father went to use the sink and everybody got a good laugh when the water shot across the kitchen.

But then, tonight? When ZoomBoy went to bed and realized all his stuffed animals were arranged to face the wall instead of him?  He completely freaked out before we reminded him that A. APRIL FOOLS and B. Chicken had disappeared for half an hour tonight while we were watching TV.  Ha ha. Good one, Chicken. We told him to call you in the middle of the night when he wakes up with nightmares.

So all in all, a good day (except when my uterus tried to turn itself inside out in an effort to squeezed the dust off one of my few shriveled and creaky eggs. Oi--the pain and the subsequent recovery took two hours out of my day, dammit, and left me exhausted for the rest of it.)  But besides the great uterus fiasco, I thought I'd share this little story of ZoomBoy and Squish--

See, we planted clues in plastic Easter Eggs around the house, each clue leading to the next until the final one lead to the hidden basket. The following two conversations can tell you all a LOT about my kids and Mate and me.

Convo 1:

Me:  Wow-- you're putting an egg there?

Mate: That's what the clue said.

Me: I hope ZoomBoy can see that--I'd never be able to find it in there.

Mate: Well, I put Squish's in the table clutter--that's going to be harder.

Me: I'd be so lost.

Mate:  Hey-- this clue here? The "line of bottles and cans"-- where's the next one supposed to go?

Me: In the line of sodas and fizzy water, along the wall.

Mate: Oh! D'oh!  Okay-- next clue!

Convo 2:

ZoomBoy:  Yeah, I couldn't find that egg in the DVD's-- I was looking right at it.

Squish: Dad put one in the clutter on the table--I figured it out though.

ZoomBoy: Dad had to help me.

Squish: Well, you had to help me with that one about the bottles and cans. I was going to go through the recycling!

ZoomBoy:  I just knew what that meant.

Squish: I was so lost.


... So, uh, guess who's brain functions how, right?

Anyway-- happy April Fool's Easter!  Squish's birthday is on Tuesday-- and then, we have a little bit of quiet, while I plan a blog tour, two classes, and finish two projects.

Yeah. It's never quiet.

Happy Pagan Sex Day!!!

1 comment:

K. Tuttle said...

Just to let you know, I'd totally buy that book! Once had another favored author write a short story about a gay man and the Flying Spaghetti Monster hooking up after changing all the Texas science textbooks to include evolution theory. Needless to say, it was f*cking wild.

Bet you could top that! :)